BY NANCY SCHRINER
. . .OR SO THEY THINK! SO WE ASKED THEM, “WHAT IS IT ABOUT HOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN ARE BEING PARENTED THAT DRIVES YOU CRAZY?”
In the January issue of Georgia Family, we asked parents this question: “What about parenting makes you crazy?” This month we are taking a slightly different approach by asking grandparents what makes them crazy about the way their grandchildren are being reared.
Make no mistake, grandparents do have definite ideas about how their grandchildren should be reared! However, just like for the parents of their grandchildren, the bottom line is that they really want the very best for them.
Grandparents, of all people, know that times have changed, and some challenges of today are different than what they experienced as parents. They are not naïve about the challenges that their adult children face when rearing this generation of youngsters. They’ve been through many of the same challenges, so they realize the struggles families face when trying to run a smooth household and meet the needs of everyone in the family.
Grandparents know that society has changed, some values have slipped, and the world has become truly inter-connected. All of these factors contribute to an increasingly difficult task of rearing children to be good citizens. So in the spirit of fairness, here is some of what they had to say:
“My grandchildren are home-schooled, so they excel academically, but they are some-what sheltered from the real world. You have to teach them and prepare them to know the dangers out there in society.”
—Sandra Hammach, grandmother of twelve, ages 4–20, Macon
“The hardest part for me is that I’m a die-hard Alabama fan and my daughter married a Georgia fan. I’m having a real hard time raising my grandchild to root for the proper team!”
—Tommy Dobbins, grandfather of one, age 11 months, Macon
“This is a new generation! Parents warn too much, they don’t set rules for their children. They allow them to debate. Kids are in control of the parents, they know how to work them. Only when the parents get mad do they punish, and then they over-punish.”
—Elaine Taylor, grandmother of two, ages 10 & 15, Warner Robins
“The lack of adult supervision. That comes directly from living in an electronic age. My children are on the computer, texting and skyping. They are so busy with people who are outside the room, they don’t pay attention to those who are in the room.”
—Jen Kent, grandmother of five, ages 3–6, Byron
“They use the TV or the computer as a babysitter. There is no structure or routine; the children can eat whenever they want to and go to bed whenever they want. It’s a different time every night.”
—Angela Bennett, grandmother of two, ages 4 & 7, Warner Robins
“My grandchildren are being raised the same way my children were raised. That makes me feel that we raised our children right. They are being raised in the Spirit of the Lord, and you can’t beat that.”
—Ruth Brady, grandmother of 20, ages 3–31, Macon
“I told my two sons that there were only two things that I could teach them: how to stand on their own two feet, and how to think. If you don’t teach kids that they won’t make it.”
—Richard Bond, grandfather of five, ages 4–8, Hawkinsville
“I am so grateful that I won’t have to raise my grandchildren, because my children are doing such a great job.”
—Debbie VerSteeg, grandmother of one, age 2, expecting another in May, Macon
“They let the kids sleep with them!”
—Shirley LaVecchia, grandmother of two, ages 7 & 9, Warner Robins
“What grinds my grits down to powder is parents try to befriend their children instead of being their parents. When parents can see fault in other folks’ children and can’t see the faults in their own.”
—Robert Weaver, grandfather of 10, ages 2–15, Warner Robins
“As a mother of five, I was very cautious and tried to have eye-contact at all times with my children. With this generation, the children can go out to play for 1–2 hours without the parents seeing them. They think they’re okay because they can hear them.”
—Brenda Primus, grandmother of 15, ages 2–25, Macon
“She doesn’t have a bed time.”
—Pamela McFarland, grandmother of one, age 2, Warner Robins
“For some reason the younger generation has an expectation that children must have so much stuff like Xbox, Wii, laptops, IPods, and cell phones. It detracts from normal play, where they play out and about with friends. They’re becoming little islands.”
—Mary Goodenough, grandmother of two, ages 7 & 11, Gray
All in all, grandparents empathize and sympathize with young parents of today. Remember the old saying, “there is nothing new under the sun?” No matter which generation we speak of, children really have not changed! Temperaments and behaviors are universal among the young. When it comes down to it, grandparents have to pray a lot, love their adult children and grandchildren unconditionally, and thank their lucky stars that their own children are already grown! After all, grandparents owe a lot to their adult children—without them there would be no grandchildren!#