Finding the Best Private School
YOU HAVE YOUR REASONS FOR THINKING ABOUT SENDING your child to a private school. Maybe your child has special needs that you feel the public school system cannot provide. Perhaps you’re less than satisfied with the academic achievements or the safety records of the public schools where you live. Maybe you attended private school, and you want your children to enjoy the same experience.
No matter what the reasons are that you’ve decided to enroll your child into private school, the fact remains that deciding which school to send your child to is a tough decision. With so many schools from which to choose, the matter of selecting a school is not simple by any standards.
First you need to identify and prioritize your needs. After you’ve narrowed your list, you’ll want to set up school visits and interviews. Deciding on that final school can be very much a two-way street between your family and the private school. After interviews with the schools, you’ll need to revise your school list again, so that you can make that final decision as offers to enroll your child come in. We urge you to keep notes throughout to avoid confusion
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Step I:
Identify Your Needs
It’s important to work out your child’s needs and your family’s needs before you ever set foot onto a private school’s campus. Why? Because comparing most private schools can be like comparing apples to oranges. They offer such different strengths that it doesn’t make sense to compare them in a vacuum. You need to consider instead which school is the best fit for you. An analogy would be that it makes more sense to figure out what you need a new car for before you step onto the car lot. Otherwise, you might end up with a beautiful car but it may not be practical for your current needs. While discussing your requirements, segregate every requirement on the basis of practical, desired, and extra curricular elements as follows:
Practical requirements
These needs must be met. No matter how wonderful a private school may be in other aspects, if it cannot meet your practical requirements, then you must rule that school out as a possibility. Consider:
How far must the child travel back and forth to school? Will there be a need for transportation or does the school provide transportation?
Is there a need for before- or after-school care and at what cost?
Does your child have any physical, emotional, linguistic, or learning needs that require special attention?
Does the school fit within your budget or will it be too difficult?
Must you have certain components in place at a private school before you’ll consider it? For example, do you want a specific religion to be a part of your child’s education?
With practical elements, you’ll usually find that they rule out schools pretty quickly for you. After you work through your practical elements, use them as a filter to come up with schools that would at least work on a practical level for your family.
Desired requirements
It’s important that you keep these desired requirements “front and center” so you don’t get swayed by other aspects of a private school. After you’ve ruled out any practical requirements, this is how you’ll truly know which schools are in your short-list. For desired elements, consider:
- Is college preparation a priority? Some parents look for science curriculum and some want a top music program.
- Are modern school facilities important to you?
- Does your child need small school environment, or a large school?
- Do you want a school with several grade levels, such as preschool and K–12, with more stability?
- Consider the instructional model. Do you want a traditional program, or an alternative approach to learning?
- Do you want a school where parents are expected to be involved with activities and decisions?
After answering these questions, make sure you prioritize your desired elements. Then examine your extracurricular requirements which are those nice-to-have aspects that probably will be more important to your child than to you. They’ll help your child decide between two schools that made it through your practical requirements filter, and have otherwise equal academic programs. Be sure to include your child when deciding extracurricular requirements. Consider what music and art programs are important to you. Are sports important? Which ones? What clubs would your child like to attend at school.
Step II:
Survey Schools
Now that you’ve worked out what you’re looking for in a school, you need to go ahead and find out as much information about your short-listed private schools as possible. For every aspect that is important to you, make sure you get all of your facts and numbers about each school on your list:
- Read the underlying philosophy of the school; ask about the beliefs that guide the school’s program and teaching styles.
Check the services available at the school such as counselors, an on-site nurse, librarian, and a secretary. - Look at the school year. Does it follow a traditional school calendar?
- What is the background and qualification of the teachers?
- Examine the school discipline policy to see if the rules seem fair and consequences seem appropriate.
- Look at the school curriculum and find out the homework and grading policies.
- Find out about the facility in case of an emergency. How are parents notified in case of an emergency? What is the school’s policy on guns, knives, and other hazardous items, towards bullying etc.?
- Does the school have any special program and policies related to parent involvement.
- What type of relationship does the school have with local businesses and community groups for guest speakers, financial support etc.? This relationship can contribute to the quality of the school and the support that it enjoys in the community.
- Is this school accredited? If so, how?
Step III:
Visit the School
The National Association of Elementary School Principals (NAESP) recommends that parents consider the following when visiting a school; it will help them to observe the school more closely:
• Look at the school’s facilities and infrastructure. Basic features which a school must have include a well-equipped library with good collection of books and periodicals, a separate lunchroom, auditorium or large classroom for meetings and presentations, and adequate physical education facilities.
• How often are textbooks and classroom materials reviewed and updated?
• What is the school homework policy?
• What is the school’s discipline policy?
• What is the school’s safety policy? What are the rules for outdoor time and strangers on school property?
• What about school’s extracurricular activities. Does the school have student council and clubs for special interests like music, drama, and chess? Make sure you ask about any activities with which your child is particularly interested.
• How does the school communicate with parents? Ask for a schedule of events and plan to attend the first meeting.
• How many applicants are typically received for how many open seats? The higher the ratio, the more competitive enrollment will be at that school.
• What is their application policy? What selection criteria do they use?
• To which colleges were last year’s graduates accepted?
• What is their student attrition like? This should give you a good idea of how happy other families were with this school.
• What about faculty turnover? 10-20 % turnover will occur in most schools due to retirements and folks moving on. But telltale signs of potential problems would be a high rate of turnover (40% or higher).
Look for schools policies regarding students:
- How are students graded?
- What is the class-size? Smaller class-size is best.
- Is the library/media center well equipped and organized? Can children regularly check out books and use the center’s resources
- What is their teaching methodology? Do teachers work by themselves with students in small groups or do they work in teams to teach larger groups.
- How does this school encourage and monitor students’ progress toward meeting academic standards? How does this school use technology to support teaching and learning?
- How does this school support students with academic, social or emotional difficulties?
- What is this school’s policy for students who speak English as a second language? What strategies do they use to teach students who are not fluent in English?
Examine the school’s
achievements:
- What professional development opportunities do teachers have? In what ways do teachers collaborate?
- What are some of the school’s greatest accomplishments?
- What are some of the biggest challenges this school faces?
Examining elementary schools:
- How does the school determine student placement in classes?
- How does this school inform parents of school information and activities?
- Is there an active Parent Teacher Association (PTA) or similar entity?
- Is childcare available before or after school?
Examining middle schools:
- How does the school guide and prepare students for academic decisions that define their options in high school and beyond?
- Are foreign language classes (French, Spanish, etc.) offered to students?
Examining high schools:
- Does it have a particular academic focus, such as science or humanities?
- Does it have any school-to-work programs or specialized academics?
- How much does the school emphasize college preparation?
Does it have a good selection of Advanced Placement classes? - What percentage of students takes the SAT or ACT? What is the average SAT or ACT scores of students there?
- Where do students go after they graduate? Are counselors available to help students make important decisions about classes and post-graduation plans?
- What percentage of students who start at the school in ninth grade graduate?
Step IV:
Make your Decision
After you’ve visited the private schools, you should prioritize the schools that you want your child to attend and then apply to as many as you feel you need to in order to safely get your child into at least one of them for the following year. It doesn’t hurt to apply to your top three choices with the plan that if your first two don’t accept you or run out of seats, you can always enroll your child into your third school.
Get financial aid information early in the process. Each school has its own programs and policies. You cannot actually apply for financial aid until you apply for admission. However tuition and other costs may be a factor in whether or not you choose a particular school; likewise the likelihood that your family will receive financial aid may fill in the big picture of whether a school fits your practical requirements or not.
Step V:
Making the Most of
School by Stage
Most kids don’t need a lot of help navigating the landscape, especially the older they get. But it helps to be aware of what’s normal so you can know when to step in, if necessary. Use these strategies to tune your radar and help your child make the most of every age and stage in elementary and middle school.
Elementary School:
What’s happening now: From kindergarten through the fifth grade, kids make major strides, from initially learning how to transition to school and being comfortable with a classroom routine to learning how to read (kindergarten and 1st grade) to reading to learn (3rd grade and beyond) in all subject areas. Emotionally, they begin to develop their academic self-esteem based on feedback from you and their teachers. By the 4th and 5th grades, they’re moving from concrete to abstract thinking. “When a concrete thinker sees the Statute of Liberty, they see it as a lady with a torch. An abstract thinker also sees it as a symbol of freedom and democracy,” says Rebecca Branstetter, an educational and clinical psychologist. By the 5th grade, they’re also beginning to set goals, work independently, work better in groups, make more complex decisions, and become organized with their school and homework.
Success Tips
Extend learning beyond school. Work activities into your child’s day that use concepts she’s learning at school. For example, let your child count change at the checkout and measure the ingredients while you’re baking cookies together (fractions). Have her tell time. Talk about numbers while you’re driving, such as how fast you’re going and how long it will take to get there. On the weekends, consider family outings to museums and zoos to visit exhibits that coincide with school subjects. “If your child is learning about Egypt, take a trip to a local museum with an Egyptian exhibit,” says Branstetter. “It reinforces curiosity, sends the subtle message that school is important, and shows your child that school and home are connected.”
Develop a homework habit. Make doing homework automatic by coming up with a routine that fits your child’s personality. Some kids like doing homework right after school. Others need to burn off steam by playing for half an hour (set a timer) before getting down to business. Whatever you choose, stick to the schedule you establish for your kids as much as possible. To minimize distractions, keep the TV off during homework time. For younger kids, begin each homework session by asking your child to explain what she’s supposed to do, then gauge if she can do it alone or if she needs your help. If you’re not around when your child does his homework, let him know you’ll look at it when you get home, and be sure to follow through. Praise him when he completes his homework by emphasizing the process, such as, “You worked really hard to learn your math facts,” rather than the product, “Good job on learning your math facts.” “Praising the process teaches persistence, which is a skill kids need for school success,” Branstetter says.
Middle School:
What’s happening now: In middle school—the 6th through 8th grade—kids are starting to go through puberty, and the physical changes can make them feel like they’re not in good control of their bodies. “It’s a very complicated time physically, socially, and emotionally,” says Vicki Panaccione, a licensed psychologist and founder of the Better Parenting Institute (www.betterparentinginstitute.com). During this difficult period, their sense of self is also developing. “There’s a lot of exclusion in middle school,” says Panaccione. Cliques can provide a safe haven as kids try to figure themselves out.
Success Tips
The mood swings and overreactions, such total hysteria over whether a boy or girl looked at your child or not in the hallway, are a normal part of this phase of development. “Don’t take it personally. Just understand that your child is going through a lot,” says Panaccione. Be supportive, but don’t minimize the problem or try to fix it either. “Middle schoolers don’t want you to solve anything,” Panaccione says. Instead, use phrases like: “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or “Gosh, that must have been embarrassing for you,” rather than “Just ignore it,” or “Just get over it. It’s not a big deal.” It is to your child. Comments like that don’t help and can be harmful. “They can push your child away because she’ll feel like you just don’t get it,” she says.
Don’t be too concerned if your child starts to hang with the wrong crowd. As kids develop and decide who they want to be, they also need to decide who they don’t want to be. They may try on various cliques, including one that’s not your favorite, to see what feels right. All kids have friends their parents don’t like. But kids are good self-barometers. “Don’t butt in unless you think their friends are dangerous,” Dr. Seltzer cautions.
In middle school, the work load gets more difficult because kids have to meet the demands of up to seven different teachers instead of one. “It’s a big challenge. The best thing you can do is allow your child to vent without buying in,” says Panaccione. If your child complains that one of his teachers gives too much homework, for example, you might say, “Well, what do you think you might need to do, given that he gives lots of homework?” rather than, “He’s only trying to teach you.” The idea is to help your child find his own way and keep the lines of communication open so he’ll continue to feel comfortable talking to you about even bigger problems that might come his way.
High School:
High school can be academically intense. The main reason is that along with more rigourous courses, homework, studying, projects, and extracuricular engagements your teen is also going to have to start setting the stage for college acceptance starting their freshman year.
Success Tips
Superlative organizational skills are a must to get through all of the hurdles of high school expectations successfully.
Doing the studying needed for a good SAT or ACT score starting in 9th grade is highly advisable. Your freshman, sophmore, and junior should dedicate huge chunks of the summer to that aim as well.
Encourage your teen to find their passion. Colleges would much rather see your teen excited about a few meaningful activities than marginally involved with a long list of clubs. They also love to see students demonstrate leadership skills, so your teen should choose activities where they can grow and possibly take on a leadership role.
Take challenging courses. If your teen wants to take AP courses later on, now is the time to work hard and earn great grades. Take a look at your school’s course offerings, and make sure you are on track to take the most challenging high school schedule you can and still have success. Remember, a B in an AP or Honors Class is usually better for your GPA than an A in a standard class.
Teens must have a social life despite their academic demands. It is important to a teen’s emotional well-being. They long for connection and acceptance. Teens often have a lot more responsabilities both through academic demands and often they may begin their first job at this age too. They are on the cusp of adulthood and want to be treated with more respect and given more freedoms that come with that maturity.
Parents must tread carefully as the relationship they have during the teen years most likely will set the stage for the relationship they will have in the future when their children become adults. #
Sources: Private School Review and The National Association of Elementary School Principals.