Celebration Time: A Birthday Planner

What’s the secret to planning the perfect party? Keep your sense of humor, and even if not every aspect of the party goes off as planned, the most important part is to enjoy the day as you celebrate the life of your child!

Just when you think you’ve finally figured out the trick to birthday
parties—your child jumps to the next stage of maturity and you have to start from scratch all over again. My daughter loved the visit by Winnie-the-Pooh at her third birthday party but begged us not to hire a character for her fourth (too embarrassing!). At her fourth party, the children enjoyed the organized games but then refused to play them at her fifth (too boring). After awhile you feel like throwing in the towel, but you can’t because the party must go on.

The good news is children are fairly consistent along age lines. At each stage of maturity certain types of birthday parties work better than others. The following guidelines offer suggestions appropriate for each age group. Keep in mind that the age brackets are general. If your child and her friends are mature for their age, then you might want to consider suggestions from the next age group.


FIRST BIRTHDAY

Guest List: Unless your child is close to a particular child, there’s really not even a need to invite other children. Invite only intimate family and friends who the baby is familiar with.

Timing: Since your child will be the star of the show, choose a time for the party when he’ll be well rested. If you’re also planning a meal for the adults, schedule it around the baby’s naptime or bedtime.


Games & Activities: Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t show much interest in presents at this age. The wrapping paper and ribbons are usually much more interesting. Themes can focus on the number 1 or characters that are popular with young children, such as Sesame Street, Teletubbies, Barney, and Winnie the Pooh.


Favors: Instant snapshots or computerized photos make lovely mementos for your guests.


Refreshments: A cake for the baby to play in for pictures and perhaps lunch or dinner for you. After all, you’ve made it through twelve months of sleepless nights, so you deserve a chance to celebrate this important milestone with family and friends!


Special Tips: Although your child will not remember her first party, she’ll enjoy looking at the photographs when she’s older. A child’s first birthday party is for you as much as it is for her. So enjoy!


SECOND-THIRD

Guest List: The usual rule of thumb for toddler parties is to limit the number of guests to the birthday child’s age plus one. It’s a good idea to ask at least one or two parents to stay and help.


Timing: The best advice for this age group is to keep it short and simple. An hour is long enough. It’s hard to have an organized party with toddlers so limit the guest list to three or four children and hopefully they’ll all play together.


Games & Activities: Toddlers love music so pop a children’s party tape into the stereo and do the hokey-pokey. For theme ideas, see those offered under First Birthday above. If you ever plan to splurge and hire a special character such as Winnie the Pooh or Barney—this is the time. The children are old enough to identify the character and love the personal visit. Encourage the children’s parents to stick around for the party (even if this means supplying party food for the adults) because you’ll need the extra help.


Favors: Goody bags are a must at this age—sometimes it’s the only way to entice the children to leave the party! Make sure the items are safe. Until age four, avoid candies which can be a choking hazard. Try a small stuffed animal or a fun clothing item to match the party theme.


Refreshments: A cake is essential; it’s the center of attention for this age. Make sure to keep any small cake decorations out of reach of the toddlers. Simple cake served with milk or juice work. You won’t be able to manage anything more than party snacks for the parents and friends who might be present.


Special Tips: Keep all the favors identical and still expect tantrums at this age. It’s a good idea to hold the gift opening until after the party since the bearers of the gifts couldn’t care less about the birthday child’s reaction.


FOURTH-FIFTH

Guest List: Don’t bend to the rules of some preschools and invite eight to ten guests. Stick to the classic rule of age plus one child. It works. Even with five or six, when parents ask if you need help, say yes.


Timing: Set a weekend time to avoid conflicts with preschool schedules.


Games & Activities: Organized games are a must at this age; otherwise the children will run wild through your yard, your house and anywhere else they can find. Even though four-year-olds love to play games, they don’t like to lose. Choose non-competitive games or change the rules of old games so no one is "out". Five-year-olds enjoy hands on activities such as craft parties or scavenger hunts. They also like to run from one activity to another so have plenty of things on hand to keep them busy.


Favors: When you’re packing the goody bags, go to extra trouble to make sure every bag is exactly the same. Otherwise, you’ll be hearing a lot of, "Susie got a red ball. I want a red ball," and you’ll be dashing around trying to placate everyone. To alleviate this problem, try not to hand out the goody bags until they’re on their way out the door.


Refreshments: Again Cake and ice cream are basic. Four year olds enjoy helping to make the cake or at least the cupcakes. Homemade ice cream gives a nice spin to the events of the day. If lunch is offered, keep it simple with sandwiches.


Favors: Cater to the possessiveness of children this age with personalized gifts.


Special Tips: Children are finally old enough to understand birthday parties and take great pride in giving their present to the birthday child. Be aware, they’re also watching the birthday child carefully to see if they like their present so now’s the time to talk to your child about manners if you haven’t already. Playact saying "thank you" convincingly such as, "This is great. Thank you." My daughter understood what she was supposed to say but it took a great deal of practice before she could say nice things convincingly about a present she didn’t like.


SIXTH-EIGHTH

Guest List: Children at this age feel hurt when classmates are invited to a party and they’re not, so it’s critical to devise a plan to prevent this. Inviting my daughter’s entire kindergarten class of 24 was out of the question, so we invited only girls. Most children seem to understand about parties just for boys or girls so they don’t feel slighted.


Timing: The weekend is still best; however, this age child will like it better if you can fit a party into a weekday afterschool exactly on his birthday. Two to three hours of partying are standard.


Games & Activities: Children in this age group like birthday parties set in unusual surroundings. After five years of playing party games they’re ready for something new.


Refreshments: "Make & eat" your own foods are especially popular at this age as are styled, colorful, and even exotic temptations. But even with this newly-found sophistication, don’t dare leave off the birthday cake!


Favors: Most kids will love candies and school or art supplies. If it fits the theme of the party, so much the better!


Special Tips: Check around your neighborhood for interesting places or businesses that offer birthday parties. Some places you might not have thought of include; craft stores, YMCA’s, zoos, art studios and restaurants.


NINTH-TWELFTH

Guest List: Children of this age usually prefer doing something special with two or three friends such as having a sleepover, camping out in the backyard, or even a weekend trip.


Timing: Afternoons and especially weekend afternoons for the traditional party with 10 or 12 guests. Afternoons and nights for sleepovers.


Games & Activities: Try not to hover over the kids. Offer your help if they need anything then fade into the background. (Hang out in the shadows…but don’t leave them without adult supervision. Despite what they think they’re not adults yet.)


Refreshments: Stock the fridge if a sleepover is planned. If you party "out" set the limits and make the plans before arriving at your destination to avoid unpleasant surprises.


Favors: Kids this age still feel it a privilege to receive specially thought out favors. Tie the favor with the event. For example, a travel game or book for a celebration involving a car trip; a set of makeup of nail polishes for a spend-the-night party; or cool sunglasses for a water party.


Special Tips: Don’t think of planning a party for a child of this age without their input. Be sensitive to the self-esteem issues of adolescents. Adolescents embarrass easily so include your child in every detail of the party planning. This is not the time to "surprise" your child with ponies or a magician.


TEENS

By the time your child is thirteen, he or she will do a large part of the planning for a birthday party. You will still be there to guide her and supervise her through intimate celebrations. Don’t miss next month’s great ideas for graduation parties. GF